"fear" God

When I was younger, this phrase always troubled me when I would read it in my Bible. Fear God? Why would I do that? Isn't He supposed to be my loving protector, the one thing I could have faith in and not fear?
I have come to the conclusion, now that I am so much older and wiser :), that fearing God is a lot easier to figure out than it is to practice. We should fear Him and His glorious, unmatchable power. We should fear what will happen when we don't choose His will... the will that gives us our best life... but we stick to our own will, leading us to destruction of heart, mind, and most importantly spirit, sometimes even to the destruction of others.
It's ironic to me that in the times I should fear God most- at the crossroads of a decison- when I should really be seeking His guidance wholeheartedly... I run.
I end up "hiding" from God, because I am afraid of what He will say. I have discovered my own will and fear that maybe His won't match up with Mine. I see the problem in this, I see the misdirected thoughts and the disordered heart. I understand the need to pray unceasingly. Instead, I close my eyes and leap, hoping I won't hit the ground too hard. I decide that, for myself, it is better to be someplace where I am complacently happy enough, than to not be there at all. Ultimately, I come to the conclusion that fearing God is not being afraid of God. I can trust God. That is why I should fear Him!

Beth Moore devotional intro: "We fear making sacrifices, but the irony is that we make a lot of sacrifices when we are not living the will of God."

Ehhh...

Restlessness is a funny thing. You know what I'm talking about... That annoying feeling right between your stomach and the bottom of your rib cage. How do I explain it? It's like when I was back in high school, sitting in third period, when suddenly I remember that I have to start off the 4x4 relay at the track meet that night. Goosebumps form on the backs of my legs. It's like small things that are bothering me suddenly consume me. I worry about them and run them through my mind until I am so nervous that they grow from small insecurities to mountains of distractions, blocking every clear thought that tries to pass through my mind. I find myself bidding my time... just trying to occupy myself as to not physically make myself sick from overthinking.

The More I Seek You

The more I seek You
The more I find You
The more I find You
The more I love You

I wanna sit at Your feet
Drink from the cup in Your hand
Lay back against You and breath
Feel your heart beat
This Love is so deep
It's more than I can stand
I melt in Your peace
It's overwhelming



How in the world do I even go about explaining how these lyrics just tear at my heart? How great of a romancer is our God? My heart aches with the burning to be in close, one-on-one, intimate relationship with Him. To sit at HIS feet... To lay back against HIM... To feel HIS heart beat! Can you imagine?? Oh my soul cries out with longing and desperation for that closeness, for that unmatchable Love. To take a moment and look to the other side, away from the incredible teachings, miracles, and the laws of the Lord... And to really just melt in the presence and the Passion of our God. Of our Lord Jesus. Mmmm.... There is a spirit inside all of us. It is in the very deepest part of our hearts, the very essence of our very beings... That spirit is the one that sets us apart, the one that tells us we were made for more than this. God has set eternity in the human heart, and that is the spirit that cries out 'Abba Father!' How He loves us.